Calling - Is it me?
AM I THE RIGHT SORT OF PERSON?
You have only to join a gathering of priests anywhere, or visit a seminary, to realise that there is no such thing as one single ‘priestly type’. Priests are people as varied as any other group, widely different in interests, temperament and background. This is one of the riches of the priesthood. No priest can in practice be all things to all people: but together they do much better! So do not worry if you are not very much like some other priests you know. You may think you are an unlikely person to be a priest, but so are most priests! The apostles themselves were a motley bunch. What mattered was that Jesus chose them, and they said ‘Yes’.
A TRUE DISCIPLE OF JESUS
Anyone who is going to be a pastoral leader of the disciples of Jesus must be someone who is already a true disciple himself, a committed Christian. There are certain signs your bishop and others will look for as they try to help you discern your calling. Do not be too worried about these, or overwhelmed by them. Like the rest of us, you are someone who fails and falls: we are all sinners (1 John 1: 8-10). What matters is that you have already steadfastly set out on your pilgrim journey, the path to holiness, with your fellow disciples. They will expect to see someone who is taking seriously his faith in Jesus Christ. These are the key things they will look for:
- a real love for God, a living relationship with Jesus Christ
- an established and developing life of prayer: you are still learning, stumbling, perhaps even struggling, but a man of prayer all the same
- a love for the Eucharist as something really central to your life
- a living commitment to Jesus shown by your way of life, your keeping of the commandments as a sign of your love, living a life worthy of your Christian vocation
- an eagerness to serve Jesus in his Church, a deep and settled zeal for bringing the Good News of Jesus to others
- some experience of sharing your faith with others
- some active involvement in the worship, life and mission of your local Catholic community (parish or chaplaincy)
- a reasonable understanding of your Catholic faith, and of what it means to be a priest
- a real love for the Catholic Church: whatever criticisms you may have of it, as we all do, you should be someone who feels at home in the Church as it is, ready to serve from within
- a real personal desire to be a priest, truly free, settled and tested by time
- a readiness to offer your whole life in God’s service, holding nothing back: not worrying too much about your natural worries and hesitations
- a willingness to let Jesus work through you and use you as he chooses
This is not meant to be a check-list! However, going through it will give you some idea of the kind of living faith expected to be in someone offering himself for service as a priest. Do not be concerned if your response to some of these things is ‘Yes, but …’ If your response is ‘No’, this does not mean you are not being called to the priesthood, but it may mean you are not yet ready to begin formation in a seminary.
“Heralds of the Gospel are needed who are experts in humanity,
who have penetrated the depths of the heart of people of today,
who share in their joys and hopes, their anguishes and sorrows,
and who at the same time are contemplatives in love with God”.
(Pope John Paul 11) 48
A GOOD HUMAN BEING
A priest is the human instrument of Jesus the Good Shepherd. He can only be a really good priest if he is a good human being. This means he must have certain basic human qualities. Words which come to mind are ‘ordinary’, ‘normal’, ‘balanced’ and ‘mature’. There are all kinds of problems about defining what these mean, and they are open to being abused, but there is a down-to-earth common-sense understanding of what is expected.
When people are asked about the human qualities needed in a priest, certain ones are almost always near the top of the list: he must be friendly and approachable, caring, understanding, considerate, generous, sensitive, a good listener, patient, forgiving, reliable and well-mannered. In other words, he must have a deep love for people, and be able to show that love.
He has to be someone who can relate comfortably with the wide range of people who will be entrusted to his care as a priest. This means people of all ages, nationalities, different backgrounds, both men and women. This ability to be at ease with other people, to reach out to them and communicate with them, is absolutely essential for any priest. We are all different; some are quieter by nature, others more outgoing. There is room in the priesthood for all. But no one can be a true shepherd who finds it really difficult to know his flock and be known by them.
A CARING PERSON
Your bishop and others will look for signs that you are able to establish and sustain strong and caring relationships with others. This includes women! Becoming a celibate priest is not a way of escaping from women, but a special way of loving them in the name of the Lord. Jesus went against the norms of his day by spending time with women and being close to them (Luke 8. 1-3; John 2. 7; 11.5). Ministry to women and working together with women is vital to priestly service.
Future priests should therefore cultivate a series of human qualities,
not only out of proper and due growth and realisation of self, but also with a view to the ministry. These qualities are needed for them to be balanced people, strong and free, capable of bearing the weight of pastoral responsibilities.
They need to be educated to love the truth, to be loyal, to respect every person, to have a sense of justice, to be true to their word, to be genuinely compassionate, to be men of integrity and, especially, to be balanced in judgement and behaviour. (Pope John Paul II)
A priest must be someone who has a real care for the needs and happiness of others. The bishop and his team will look for signs that you are already involved in caring for people in some way, especially the poor and needy. They will also hope to see someone who enjoys working with others as a team; this is an important gift for the kind of leadership expected of the priest in the Church today and tomorrow.
A BALANCED PERSON
The word ‘balanced’ is a vital one! The Church is looking for men of ordinary human maturity. What is expected depends of course on your age: more will be expected of you if you are 30 than if you are 18. The priesthood is a strenuous and exacting ministry. It requires reasonably good physical health, but also mental and emotional stability. We are all disabled in one way or another, in mind, body or spirit: it is a matter of seeing if you can really cope with the stresses and strains, the burdens and demands of the priesthood. A strength of character is required, and a fair share of determination and courage, as well as a good and normal sense of humour!
REASONABLE INTELLIGENCE
A teaching ministry is central to the priesthood, and a priest has to be properly equipped for preaching and teaching in many ways. The Church expects its priests to be people of reasonable intelligence, with a good basic education as a foundation. Dioceses vary as to what they require. Some academic achievement up to GCSE and A-level is the usual standard for young people, but age and experience will be taken into account. The bishop will want to see that you can cope with priestly formation. What matters above all is that you will be able to grasp and faithfully pass on the Good News and the Church’s teaching.
OPENNESS AND FREEDOM WITHIN
It is not just intelligence that matters. You must be someone who is willing to be formed for the priesthood, and able to be formed. This calls for an inner flexibility, and an openness to change and renewal. It requires true self-discipline and a sense of responsibility. It also demands the right motivation, and real freedom of heart. You must be free enough to say a true ‘Yes’ to God’s call, and to take on a ministry which will ask much of you - a freely-given life-time commitment to a celibate way of loving, obedient service with your bishop and his priests, and a simple lifestyle of joyful sacrifice.
Since, as president, he will be God’s representative, he must be irreproachable: never an arrogant or hot-tempered man, nor a heavy drinker or violent, not out to make money; but a man who is hospitable and a friend of all that is good: sensible, moral, devout and self-controlled, so that he can be counted on for both expounding the sound doctrine and refuting those who argue against it. (Titus 1. 7-9)
Here is a saying that you can rely on: to want to be a presiding elder is to want to do a noble work. That is why the president must have an impeccable character. (1 Timothy 3. 1)
ALL RATHER DAUNTING?
You may well feel rather daunted after reading this section. You may be even more doubtful that you could ever be a priest. But remember that any priest reading through these ‘priestly qualities’ could conclude very quickly he should not have been ordained. God’s grace is strong in human weakness, and he can do marvellous things through anyone who is open to his presence.
The qualities asked of a good priest are much the same as for a good husband and father, and the perfect priest is as elusive as the perfect husband! The Church is just as choosy about its priests as a bride is about a prospective husband. The human qualities needed in a priest or a husband are much the same: freedom, maturity, lifelong commitment, sacrificial self-giving, compatibility and above all, a true and deep love. No one is perfect, but both bride and Church know in their heart-of-hearts the degree that is required.
Who then is a suitable candidate for priestly formation? An unmarried man, single or widowed. An ordinary, balanced person, with a maturity appropriate for his age and experience, of reasonable health and intelligence, able to make a free choice for his future, a loving and caring person who relates easily with other people, and a true disciple and friend of Jesus Christ, already living out in the Church the vocation he has from his Baptism and Confirmation.
HOW OLD?
You will have to be at least 18 before you enter one of our major seminaries, and usually 25 before you are ordained a priest. In their Charter for Priestly Formation, the bishops of England and Wales agree that recent converts should not normally go to a seminary until at least three years after their reception into the Church (art. 50). This does not mean that a teenager or recent convert cannot begin looking seriously at a possible call to the priesthood and laying the foundations for future formation.
PAUSE FOR THOUGHT
- What is your response to these thoughts on the sort of person your bishop will be looking for?
- Do you feel overwhelmed, daunted, unworthy? That is only to be expected.
- Is there anything which especially worries you?
- Are there people you can ask to read the pages on ‘Am I the right sort of person?’ who will then be really honest with you?
WHAT DO I DO NEXT?
Give it time
You may be young or not so young. You may be involved with studies, or working, or unemployed. Perhaps you have recently been received into full communion with the Catholic Church, or you have had a deep religious experience and feel God has entered your life in a special way. Something deep inside you suggests that Jesus may be calling you to be a priest. You are not sure why, and you have all kinds of doubts and worries about the whole idea. Discovering your true vocation is rather like falling in love; you will go through a whole range of emotions, ups and downs, moments of commitment and moments of hesitation. The whole seminary experience itself will be a journey of discovery, a time of discernment and that lies in the future.
Do not make a decision in a hurry. Be patient with yourself and with those who are trying to help and advise you. Give yourself time to reflect and discuss.
Stay close to the Lord and to others
Make sure that during this time you stay close to the Lord you seek to follow. Let him be your companion on the way you are journeying. Your family and friends can also be a real support at this time. Even if they are not happy with the idea of you becoming a priest, do not cut yourself off from them. You will also need the support of your local parish community or chaplaincy. As people who know you and care about you, they can help you in the whole process of finding your future.
Prayer
Your personal relationship with Jesus is the heart of any vocation you have from him. It is above all in your prayer that you will hear his voice and know the spiritual calm that comes from discovering his will of love for you.
Deepen your prayer-life as you test your vocation. Try different kinds of prayer, read books on prayer, join other people in prayer. The Divine Office, the Prayer of the Church, will be an important part of your ministry if you become a priest: perhaps begin now to pray part of it each day (e.g. Morning and Evening Prayer).
Ask God to show you what he wants of you, and to guide those who are there to help you and to discern your vocation. Ask others to pray for you. Become more and more a man of prayer.
Make the Eucharist central to your life. Sunday Mass should be the climax of your week, but it may be possible for you to go to Mass on other days as well. Grow to love the Eucharist, spend time in adoration of the Blessed Sacrament and become a truly Eucharistic person.
A priest is a minister of reconciliation, a man of God’s forgiveness. The Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession) should be important to you, difficult though it sometimes is. Perhaps find a priest that you can go to regularly and openly. You may like to ask him or someone else to be your spiritual director or helper (your ‘soul friend’) during this time of waiting and testing. You can talk to him or her openly about your feelings and your developing sense of a vocation.
It would be good also to make use of days of reflection and retreats organised locally, or by your diocese, or perhaps by a religious community. Some of these are specially focused on the whole idea of God’s calling and your personal choices for your future.
Talk with other people
Do not tell everyone you want to be a priest, or that you are thinking about it. Sometimes this can make it more difficult for you to make a free decision. People’s hopes and expectations can put much pressure on you. Your vocation must come from Jesus himself, not from your mother or father, your parish priest or your favourite nun!
But do talk to some people you trust. Ask them to be really honest with you about your strengths and weaknesses. Do they see you as a priest? Their response can be an important way in which Jesus himself confirms his call to you.
Talk to people who know the priesthood from the inside. If you have the chance, get to know a few priests. This will bring you down-to-earth in your understanding of the kind of people Jesus calls to the priesthood, but also give you some rich insights into what it really means to be a priest. Keep in touch with a priest you can relate to easily.
Find out more
The very fact that you are reading this page suggests that you are keen to discover more about the priesthood and what it involves.
Spend time doing some further reading and reflection. Read the Scriptures regularly. A prayerful reading of St Luke’s Gospel, for example, will give you a rich vision both of your calling as a Christian and of what sharing Jesus’ ministry in a special way will involve.
Read some basic introductions to the Catholic Faith so that you have a sound knowledge of who Jesus is and what he has done for us, what the Church is and what it is for, the meaning of the Sacraments. And read further on the priestly ministry. What you read will depend on who you are and the stage you have reached on your journey of faith. Your priests, the Diocesan Vocations Director or someone at your nearest seminary can give you further advice on possible books.
It is likely that it will be several years before you are ready to go to the seminary, you may like to do a part-time course in your Christian faith. You can get information on various courses from your Diocesan Education Centre.
Get involved
Become as involved as you sensibly can in your local Church community, in its worship, its work to spread the Good News, its care for those in need, and in its community life. If you are already an altar server, see this as a special ministry of service. Offer yourself as a Reader at Mass; in this way you are a bearer of God’s Word to his people. Accept if you are asked to be a special minister of Holy Communion. There may be other ways of helping with the Liturgy: helping in the sacristy, getting involved with music at Mass, joining in the welcoming ministry.
It is also important to share in the apostolic work of the parish or chaplaincy, and its care for others. You may be able to help as a catechist, preparing people for the Sacraments and in other ways. Perhaps there is a special children’s liturgy at a Sunday Mass in your church, or people are needed to help with classes for children in non-Catholic schools. Get involved also in activities which show your love for people, especially those in need. The St Vincent de Paul Group will need support and the Justice and Peace Group will welcome fresh enthusiasm. Perhaps you could even brave the parish Youth Club and offer your services.
Obviously you cannot do all these things, nor should you. But it would be good if you could find at least one main way of being involved in both the worship and the witness of your local Church. This will deepen your personal Christian commitment, and it will also help you and others to see what kind of ministry you are suited to in the Church.